the boy is 6.

dear charlie,
today you turned 6.  you requested a "birthday party" themed birthday party with a white cake with blue frosting & a "6" candle.  it was 60 degrees out and we had a picnic in the yard.  you looked pretty big riding your new red bike around the bike store.

you've been looking and acting so grown up lately.  i love your conversation skills- you are good at asking people questions.  at dinner with donna you asked her what her favorite record was.  you always ask sarah about her favorite things & you know what those things are.

your heart seems to be growing too.  the other week when mema came to visit, you immediately wrote her a letter thanking her for coming.  then she bought us lunch at clock tower and you wrote her a letter thanking her for it.  i was so proud of you.

right now you love building legos and making paper ghosts & hearts for people in the family.  you've been wearing your robe to bed and dancing to michael jackson.  you would eat cheese & crackers over just about anything.  you really love your sisters and its obvious that they love you right back.  i love listening to you & maybell play school or in your "flying house".  you can't resist hugging emmy constantly.

you are really good at school even though you don't want to go some days.  i don't want you to go some days too.  i just like being around you.  you love your friends.  every day you ask me "do we have plans to see anyone?".  there are some days that you really miss russell, though.  you miss our house and your friends and fossil station.

i am so proud of the boy that you are and i can't wait to see what this year brings.
i love you, my sweet boy.
mom

2012

january

february

march

april

may

june

july

august

september

october

november

december

advent.

i've been giving some thought to advent this year.
i want to know how to do Christmas a bit different- where we emphasize how its about Jesus and not about ourselves.  how can we really teach the children about what a joy it is to give & to be grateful?
it has to start with us.  with our hearts.  with where we are in the process.
i think this year we'll do the Jesse Tree thing- where you read a story & hang an ornament every day of advent.  there is a free download of this plan here if you are interested.
we'll probably be reading our stories from the Jesus Storybook Bible.
also- i think this book looks good.
i don't want to take away the excitement of presents & Christmas from the kids.
hopefully this year will be filled with more joy & wonder. 
isn't it just better when you start to think less about yourself and your Christmas list and more about what this season & all of life is really about?
here's to trying to get it right this year...

response.

the other night clark was reading from the Jesus storybook bible, as he sometimes does.
he decided to read about the birth of Jesus.
i can't stop thinking about maybell's reaction.
he was reading about the angel coming to mary & joseph, how they couldn't find a place to stay, & that the baby was to be born with the animals in a stable.
as he turned to the page where the baby was,
maybell slowly breathed in & whispered "it's beautiful".  and then she said "i yuv that baby".

i love how she was so surprised & taken with the beauty of the baby.

i want to see life more like that.
to really take it in.
and to see Jesus with those kind of eyes.

smallnesses.

for all these smallnesses I thank you, Lord:
small children and small needs;
small meals to cook, small talk to heed,
and a small book from which to read
small stories; small hurts to heal
small disappointments, too, as real as ours;
small glories to discover in bugs, pebbles,
flowers.

when day is through my mind is small, my
strength is gone;
and as i gather each dear one
i pray, "bless each for Jesus' sake-
such angels sleeping, imps awake!"

what wears me out are little things:
angels minus shining wings.
forgive me, Lord, if i have whined;
it takes so much to keep them shined;
yet each small rub has its reward,
for they have blessed me.
thank you, Lord.

-Ruth Bell Graham

colorado.

i keep thinking of this photo i took on our recent trip to colorado.
it just keeps coming to mind.

it reminds me of what a good mother my friend is.  how she is always telling her daughter that the prince loved cinderella because of her wonderful personality & that they had so much in common (not simply for her beauty).  and how she really sees them for who they are & values & strengthens them.

it makes me think of what i want for my children- to fill them with truth & love & strength even though most days i feel more like how luella looks in this picture.

also, isn't luella's choice of outfit completely wonderful?

a new season.

the boy starts kindergarten tomorrow.
i'm freaking out a little.  or a lot.
its only one day more per week than preschool.
what's my problem?
its a shift in a new direction that i am less ready for than i thought.
school age kids.  so much to think about and worry about.
this is my only chance to parent my kindergartener well.
that feels heavy to me.
i've been stewing over all our educational choices for months.
i really love the idea of letting kids learn through their environment and encouraging their natural curiosity for learning.  i really don't love the idea of making kids sit & do worksheets and take standardized tests.
also, is he old enough to go to school?
wasn't he just born?
i've been spending too much time afraid.  afraid he won't have good friends, afraid he won't learn well, afraid he won't really know the love of God.
God "did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, & of self discipline." 2Tim 1:7
let's do this.
he looks ready to take on the world, doesn't he?
i'll try to gather up my courage with you tomorrow, son.